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I wound up spending two nights there with Jess. We had sex again and watched TV shows on Netflix. I tried to cum and laugh at things even though it was so hard to remain present and to find anything at all funny or pleasurable. We ate burritos she made us in her chaotic kitchen and I brought her to a doctor's appointment for her back. She was still ( Read more... )

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Note: These entries are not written with the intention of slandering or canceling anyone. This is what I do, and what I've done since 2002: write about everything in graphic detail, the good and the bad. These things happened, to me, and I wrote all of this with only the goal of articulating the story and my feelings to the best of my abilities ( Read more... )

(I originally wrote this on our last day at the RV camp, but never posted it because of what would happen the next day...)


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DAY SIXTY-TWO
Tuesday, April 7thI slept well being back outdoors. The camper provided a perfect balance between sleeping outside like I used to while hitchhiking and homeless, and being protected in a safe and reliable shelter to call my own, amounting to the best sleep I’d ever had. But when I woke up, I had to take a shit. I’d only ever shit ( Read more... )

DAY FIFTY-EIGHT
Friday, April 3rdWe took a day off of DoorDash deliveries and hotel isolation to go exploring together. We both needed it. The feelings of insignificance I’d always feared while doing all I could to avoid “work” were confirmed and really catching up to me, and I needed some quality time with Alyssa having fun instead of being a ( Read more... )

DAY FIFTY-THREE
Sunday, March 29thI never slept and started getting things together pretty early before Alyssa’s cellphone alarm woke her up. We loaded a bunch of things into the car and camper across several trips between our room and the parking lot. It was bright and sunny out, pretty warm, and when it came down to it we were both pretty amped ( Read more... )

DAY FORTY-SEVEN
Monday, March 23rdOur second day at the Motel 6 was pretty uneventful. We used the time and the pacifying atmosphere of bad cable TV, a decent king size bed with sheets too thin and three pillows, and the chilly, stale air of an AC-blasted room to begin figuring out our next move, or to procrastinate figuring it out ( Read more... )

DAY FORTY-TWO
Wednesday, March 18thWe yanked the Band Aid off and got out of our little forest paradise by 1. We were both so sad to say goodbye, and dreading the remaining options. Ironically, they had sent us out into the public from an area in which we were for all intents and purposes isolated from it. Of course, it didn’t matter if the ( Read more... )